


Hello

by Punchyourwayout



Category: Black Widow (Comics), Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: F/M, LA, west coast avengers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 13:56:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9184714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Punchyourwayout/pseuds/Punchyourwayout
Summary: Bucky is recovering his memories and needs Nat to help him sort through them. She is LA, dating Matt Murdoch (Daredevil) and working with the West Coast Avengers. Based mainly upon Brubaker's Winter Soldier series. Plot is also based on the song "Hello" by Adele (you could probably compare the verses and pick out what I took from them).Created as a present for the BuckyNat Secret Santa exchange on Tumblr (2016).Enjoy!





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MorningGlory2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorningGlory2/gifts).



The Stark Phone, a device Bucky regarded as far too fragile for him to use and, yet, here he was using it to call someone who clearly didn’t want to be found. Nat had changed her number five times after leaving New York. He’d managed to get all five numbers, but he’d never called any of them- until now.

It rang for so long Bucky nearly hung up, he should have guessed Nat wouldn’t answer an unknown number. But as his thumb hovered over the ‘end call’ button, he heard Nat’s voice come on the line. 

“Hello?”

His mouth went dry and he forgot to breathe for a moment. She sounded the same as she had all those years ago.

“…it’s me.”

“James?” she could never call him Bucky, it didn’t feel right.  
“Yeah, I was wondering if we could meet, talk about the old days now that I’m more stable.”  
“Sure…I’m out in LA, though, with the West Coast Avengers. I came out with Daredevil.”  
“…it’ll take time for me to get a passport and tickets, but I can get out there.”  
“That’s fine. We can keep in contact phone until then. I gotta go, some asshole is trying to blow up the Hollywood sign as some sort of ‘statement’.”  
“Okay, be safe. I’ll talk to you soon.”

There was a click and Nat was gone. 

Over the next few weeks, Bucky would call Nat from time to time to talk- mostly about memories of the Red Room that had come back to him.  
“So, I started off training you and then we dated?”  
“How many times did you start our relationship over when I was wiped?”  
“Did you ever want to give up on us?”  
“How hard was it to get me back each time?”

Each time, Nat would patiently answer.  
“Yes, that’s right. You gave me my serum after a mission went bad.”  
“I lost count around 150.”  
“No, you meant too much to me and I knew you were still in there somewhere.”  
“It got harder every time, but it was worth it.”

Once after a particularly heartfelt discussion, Nat dropped her guard and opened up.  
“I know that you made it out alright in the end, but I still feel awful for leaving you behind when I defected…it is my biggest regret, and I have a lot of them. I should have stayed until I was able to bring you too. I’m so sorry, James.”

There was silence on the other end of the line, the only way Nat could tell James hadn’t hung up was by his heavy breathing as he struggled to keep his emotions in check. Eventually, he found his voice.

“It’s okay, Natalia, you had to do what was best for you. I’m free now.”  
“Every time we met after that I tried to get through to you.”  
“And every time I hurt you.” he mumbled, thinking about DC. “Guess that makes us even.”  
It was a joke, an off colour one, but they both led off colour lives. He could never forgive himself for hurting her no matter what jokes he told.

The next week:  
“I’m having a hard time being a civilian, Nat. Every loud noise is a threat, every shadow is a threat, and every person in the street is a threat. How do you live like this, among normal people?”  
“One day at a time, sometimes, just an hour at a time. You’ll adjust and see that most of the threats are in your head. Assess them as they come the same way you would in the field and categorize them. But don’t over think it.”

And the week after that:  
“Are you happy Nat? Out there in the sun with Murdoch? Is he good to you?”  
He wasn’t jealous. As far as Bucky was concerned, he was lucky to have Nat in his life at all. It was true that he missed her and missed being with her, but as long as she was happy, he was too.  
“Yes, Matt makes me happy, you do too. You’re both very different men who make me happy in your own ways.”

And the week after that:  
“I got my passport and tickets. I land on Tuesday at 1pm.”  
“I’ll pick you up at the airport, LA is weird- it’s like no other place we’ve been.” That and she didn’t want him freaking out in new surroundings.  
Which he knew and was grateful for.  
“Thanks, Nat. I’ll see you soon.” It was impossible not to hear the genuine smile in his voice.

Bucky squinted as they left the airport and headed to Nat’s car.   
“Is it always this bright here?”  
“So long as the smog doesn’t block out the sun, yeah.”  
“No wonder you have a tan…where are we headed?”  
“My place. It’ll be quieter there than a café or whatever. Better for us to visit.”  
Bucky simply nodded, trusting in her to steer him right.

Nat, it seemed, was nervous. She talked the whole two hour drive about LA, the West Coast Avengers, even the weather- anything but what Bucky had flown out for. He didn’t really mind, he wasn’t mentally prepared for a heavy conversation yet. The whole flight, he’d been stuck between a woman with a crying baby and a sleeping giant of a man. He needed to get his head in the right space first.

“So…” Nat started once they were comfortable in her apartment. “I guess you made it out of Russia…was it hard, alone?”  
“Yeah, it was, but your Papa Ivan helped me leave. And once I got stateside, Steve was a big help. But he doesn’t understand the new me the way you do. The serum and experiments, the PTSD…no one gets that the way you do.”  
Nat snorted quietly, a sort of scoff mixed with a sound of agreement.   
“That’s certainly true. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help, I had my own fires to put out.”  
“It’s okay. Ivan says hello and that he misses you, by the way.”  
Nat smiled and kissed his cheek.  
“He’s dead, isn’t he?”  
“Yeah, I heard the KGB ghouls grabbed him after I left. Not sure if it was related to helping me or not.”  
“With him it could have been a number of things. I miss him. You two were the only family I ever had.”  
“Well, you’ve still got me. And you have Matt now.”  
Nat nodded slowly, but didn’t really agree with him.  
“What happened?”  
“Matt and I broke up. He didn’t want you coming out here, or more specifically he didn’t want me to keep in contact with you. He’s convinced that you’ll replace him.”  
“That’s not why I’m here.”  
“I know. But like Steve, he doesn’t understand.”  
“So in his fear that I’ll replace him, he stepped aside and practically held the door open for me?”  
“He’s…I don’t even know any more.”  
“Well, I won’t leave you.”  
“I know.”

Within a month of Bucky heading to LA, they started dating again and moved back to New York. They even started going on SHIELD missions together.  
For over a year this continued- a kind of domestic bliss mixed with literal killer instincts. And they were happier than they’d ever been (as far as either of them could remember).  
Which was why Bucky went off the deep end when what was left of the Red Room kidnapped Nat. He worked night and day to get her back, but it was too late- they’d wiped her. Their most perfect weapon was back in the fold and being prepped to kill.

Shooting her was hard, harder than it had been when he was wiped. It wasn’t a kill shot, but it did make it possible to take her back to SHIELD.  
The doctors did their best to patch up her body and mind, but there was one piece that would remain missing. Bucky. She had no memories of him at all and would never recover them- a last “gift” from the Red Room that had put them together in the first place.

Bucky left medical and wasn’t seen for weeks. He returned without a word and started volunteering for all the craziest missions going, looking for an outlet for his rage since he could no longer confide in Nat. But it didn’t really help. He took stupid risks and went off script in so many missions that Director Hill threatened to bench him.

In the end, in a twisted way, he longed for one last wipe.


End file.
